Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Scared shitless!

On freeway driving my subi
car says "at oil temp"
each time I break I see the mph gage drop to zero
and suddenly the ABS break light comes on and my car DIES
I'm in the 3rd lane from the right
Mind you I've never died on the freeway b4
I couldn't find my emergency flashers
I got it over as quickly as I could into the emergency lane
without being hit...total miracle.. It was 4:40pm
I was 1/2 mile from the 600 South exit on I15
I called the hubs and was freaking out to say the very least
WTF do I do now??
I restarted my car and tried putting it in drive I started moving slowly
but the engine light was still flashing and it was super sluggish
I said a prayer to the universe asking for me to make it safely off the freeway to 600 S. exit
where I knew I could park it somewhere
I really didn't want it to be stuck there for the rest of the night
we are due for a killer storm tonight
I stressed the fuck out of Jared and now I have more guilt that things are all my fault
We are COMPLETELY out of $$funds$$ so I have no clue where we are going to find the money to fix it
my stress level was already at an all time high
not it's a hundred notches higher and I have no idea how to react...
It's one of those times when I want to throw my arms up in the air and say "I give up"
because that's truly how I feel. I'm so damned overwhelmed.
At some point the hubs will be coming downtown to look at subi and decide what the hell is wrong with it
if it's safe I will likely only have the courage to take the back roads home.
Shitty fo realios
Means a fun walk to school in the morning for the kids and I tomorrow...
Happy happy joy joy
For xmas I wish for 2 well working cars, happy healthy kids and parents (us ;) and for money to be figured out sooner rather than later.
**sigh



Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Super~

Super frustrated

Feeling super down

It’s super freezing

I’ve been super dogged on

Making me feel super shitty

College is super hard

And

I’m not working much at all (the last couple months)

Making me super broke

I’m super baby hungry still

Making my heart super ache

I’m hating my looks…. JUST SUPER!

Still super hating:

My super insane brain

My super thin hair

My super small & fat feet

My non hour-glass figure

My sagging super motherly breasts

And my super enormous personality

And I wish I were super different

And I want to start over so I can learn to be super content.

But instead I sound and feel Super lame-