Whatcha doin~

so much on my mind. crashing waves of which way to go. my kids are getting older as days go by and i get to make the choice as to what to do when they are in school. from 9-3:30pm the time is mine....so now what? i dread schooling as it has never been easy for me. i suffer with ADHD and lack the ability to memorize things. i struggle because i want to be home when my boys are home and yet i want to make enough money that it helps our family out.  i do better with being my own boss and doing things on my own time. it seems there are few options. doula work has been tougher on me the last 2 years, being on call is extremely rough lasting 4 weeks 24 hours a day.... i shouldn't be so stressed but i am. as soon as my mind is made up for a flexible career then i will gladly accept full breathes again. i feel like a burden on my family lately.... my stress has affected my health, energy, and definitely my patience...  it would be lovely to just have the answers at what i can do. i yearn to be successful and find something i really enjoy doing. im looking at massage therapy something i have been interested in for two decades. i feel really lost in a deep sea.....somewhat stranded and just no clue of which way to go..... all that i hear is: "just keep swimming"!