her best~

today has been a moody bleak black day for me i cannot begin to explain the frustrations that are within my being. i look within the mirror and wishful thinking asks to leave all the negativity within the glass and that which is staring back may go on with vitality and positivity. i have those days as most humans do that just frustrate you til the energy inside my brain and heart are met within my entire inner skeleton and time is the only thing that allows the frustration to vanish. control of all things is something i wish to attain....however, when one becomes a mother you relinquish control, and selfishness. one thing in this life i fail to understand is how others in this life allow themselves to judge me. i retire to bed each night asking myself what better i can do tomorrow (that is addition i would say). my best is never enough for others. when one human tells another that they are failing....what gives them the right to say: "you aren't doing your best"? there is nothing more haunting to me than wanting to please the human race that knows me. most days i fail and today was a day that was better than yesterday but it still isn't enough.....   i found some lyrics to a song that i changed up and here is how my version goes: 

she feels her pockets for her cigarettes, sometimes she forgets she gave em up.

she starts feeling like she needs a drink, cuz she knows it'll help her not to think.

And she's told herself before....what's it gonna hurt to have one more.

because it's hard to live with her regrets, but life ain't over yet so she tries her best.

she starts thinkin' that she's gonna cry, then she remembers why she gave it up....

cuz it's not worth the pain life's put her through, but it was all that she could do.

but sometimes she wants to go home, it's just too hard to feel alone. 

she's tryin to live with her regrets, cuz life ain't quite over yet.

so tomorrow comes and she tries her best and today she cries her pain away

let it out and let it go, life is life she has lil' control.... 

because it's hard to live with her regrets, but life ain't quite over yet just waitin' for her tomorrow cuz it ain't over.....